


a letter

by posiesalt



Category: Legacies (TV 2018), The Originals (TV), The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: F/F, belgium - Freeform, get tissues, i'M SAD, legacies 1x14, penelope is moving, posie - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-15
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-11-18 08:48:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18117395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/posiesalt/pseuds/posiesalt
Summary: josie is destroyed after penelope leaves for belgium. there were so many things she wanted to say to penelope, but didn't get the chance to.





	a letter

Josie clung to the notebook in an attempt to ground herself. Her knuckles went white as she pressed the book into her stomach, finally giving into the pain and desertion she was feeling. She gasped for air as she stooped to the floor. Her feet burned with pain from the heels she’d been wearing for far too many hours, but it could not compare to the agony she felt inside. Her heart pounded loudly in her chest, beating so hard it hurt. Josie let out loud sobs as she crouched in the middle of the great room of the Salvatore Boarding School, the fireplace burning bright behind her. She felt the heat radiating against her back, but she felt cold inside. The thought of Penelope leaving sent chills through her.

Josie stayed in that room for a while. It was empty, everyone was long gone after the pageant, and were likely rejoicing at an after party somewhere (presumably the old mill). The thought of celebrating in that moment made Josie sick. So she stayed, sitting on the floor clinging to the last piece of Penelope she had left. Her dress pooled around her, and the flowers that descended the length of it seemed to mock her. 

Time was lost to Josie. She finally stood up to find her legs almost too weak to support her. She stumbled her way to her bedroom, room 23, and fumbled with the door. The sound of Lizzie bombarded her as soon as she walked in, but to Josie the sound was dulled. She felt as if she was in a fishbowl, everything sounding sort of muted. Josie placed the book on her desk, and leafed through the pages. There was table of contents at the front, and it almost sent Josie backwards again. She read through the chapters, which appeared to have been organized to Penelope’s liking.

Josie was the very first chapter. She winced as the tears began to well up again. She clutched at her head, which was throbbing. The headache was most likely due to the dehydration from all the tears she had expelled. To soothe the pounding Josie reached for the bun that still perched against her head, neatly slicked back. She sent her hair tumbling down as she removed the pins and hair ties holding it in place. Josie ran her hands through her hair, and brought a strand to her mouth. She let her hair dance on her lips gently as she returned her attention to the book. Finally, her eyes found “Alaric”, and she flipped to the page listed. 

Lizzie had fallen asleep soon after Josie began her reading. The girl stirred quietly in her bed across the room from where Josie sat at her desk. Her eyes danced along the pages, gathering information by the plenty. She was looking for only two words in particular, “the merge”, but she couldn’t help but let her attention wander when she spotted “Josie”, “Lizzie”, or “Hope”. The passages about Hope were plentiful, something that furthered Jose’s emotional state, but there were a few about Josie that gave her some relief. From the short excerpts about her, Josie regained confidence that her father  _ was _ indeed proud of her. It was a sliver of relief from the internal turmoil she was struggling with at the moment.

Finally she found it. An entire entry labeled “The Merge” awaited her. She took a deep breath and leaned back in her chair, away from the open book. She knew that whatever this was would have a profound effect on her life going forward. Josie finally mustered up the courage to return to the page and began reading. She took her time, carefully following each word written in her father’s chicken-scratch handwriting. When she finished, she sat in the moment, listening to Lizzie’s soft, slow breathing, the gentle ticking of the clock on the wall, and the crackling of the fireplace. The words hadn’t fully sunk in. She wasn’t able to fathom the reality of the situation she would be forced to enter when she and her twin turned twenty two. But what hurt even more was that Penelope wouldn’t be there for it.

Belgium. Fucking Belgium. Josie began researching flight times, distances, and time zones. 17 hour flight. 4,000 miles. 5 hours ahead. She was utterly overwhelmed. When Josie had felt this lost and desperate in the past, she had turned to one of two people: Lizzie, or Penelope. The former had destroyed Josie’s world that night, and the latter was still aboard a plane across the Atlantic. She felt alone.

Josie reached for her cup of pens that rest on her desk, and was even more crushed to remember that, in her anger, she had given Penelope the pen back. Through their breakup, Josie had continued to use it. She never really knew why. It wasn’t anything special, just a simple fountain pen. But it came from Penelope. And even though Josie wanted nothing to do with snarky Penelope her ex, she missed caring Penelope her girlfriend. So she had continued to use that pen. But now it was gone. And so was Penelope.

Anxious for a connection to her, Josie stood up quickly, and raced to Lizzie’s desk, rummaging through her things to find the pen Penelope had given her. She found it, and brought it to her chest, feeling overwhelmed with the thought of having this piece of Penelope back. She darted to her own desk, and whipped out her diary. She flipped to an empty page.

“There’s no way this will work.” Josie thought to herself. Though she doubted it, the thought of possibly reaching Penelope sent her heart soaring. She knew it would be the catharsis she needed in this moment. She began writing so quickly that her letters flowed seamlessly from one to another from not having lifted the pen off the page.

_ Penelope. _

_ You are currently on a 17 hour flight across the Atlantic Ocean. 17 hours. I don’t know how you will survive it. I hope you are getting some sleep. Anyways, Belgium. You’ll love it there. Fries, waffles, chocolate… Your favorite food groups. Oh, and not to mention the beer. And the legal drinking age. And I know that your new school will be amazing. Everyone is going to adore you. But just remember that Salvatore had you first. This is your home, don’t forget it. I know how hard these past few months have been for you. I’m sorry I couldn’t see that you were hurting. I was blinded by my sister’s spotlight. But hey, I finally told her off. You would’ve been so proud of me. I miss that. You being proud of me. You always validated my accomplishments, even when I didn’t. I’m forever grateful for that. I’m also so thankful that we got to spend so many days together, and share so many moments. When we were together, you made me feel safe. I felt as if I could tell you anything, and you would understand, and be there to support me. I didn’t realize how much I needed you until you were gone. And even though we were broken up, I kept finding my way back to you. And it sounds stupid, but maybe it was fate, or the universe, or something that was bringing us back together. It knew that I still needed you.  _

_ I’m sorry. I’m sorry that after we broke up, I was merciless towards you. I’m sorry I let Lizzie be cruel as well. I’m sorry that I pushed you away. I’m sorry that I ridiculed you. I’m sorry that I didn’t accept your invitation to be my escort the first time. After tonight, I truly regret that. I’m sorry I said I hated you. I want you to know that I could  _ **_never_ ** _ hate you.  _

_ I’m sorry I kissed you and then ignored you. Every time we kissed after we broke up, I shut you out because I felt just as much as you did. In those moments, my birthday, before the talent show, I was letting myself love you again. And afterwards, reality set in, and I was still left with my heart just as broken as before. And it hurt, so I built my walls back up. But those kisses weren’t mistakes Penelope. I can never take back all the hurtful things I said or didn’t say to you, but that doesn’t mean I can’t make it better. _

_ So here I am. I’m going to put the past aside. I’m going to grow, I won’t let Lizzie or my dad push me aside anymore. And most importantly, I won’t take you for granted anymore. Penelope, you mean the world to me. You were my first everything. You were my first kiss back in the fourth grade when Jed dared you to kiss me. You were my first girlfriend. My first love. My first  _ **_time_ ** _. We’ve shared so many incredible things, and I want to be able to look back on all of that without regret.  _

_ So here it goes. I’m shooting  _ **_my_ ** _ shot. Penelope, tonight you whispered three words to me that made me remember why I am who I am, and all that you mean to me. And I’m sorry I couldn’t say it back (It was a lot to take in, okay?). But Penelope, I love you. I love you with all of my insecure, codependent, pitiful heart. And my life will never be the same. Because loving you has pushed me to change, and learn. I am always going to remember you, and the time we had together, good and bad. Because you make me like I can be unapologetically myself.  _

_ Love, _

_ Josette Saltzman. _

Josie placed the pen in the middle of the page of the diary and examined her work. For a moment it felt like she had actually been writing to Penelope, but she knew that she was merely writing to the void. Josie wiped at the remaining tears on her cheeks, and recalled the way Penelope had done so a few hours prior. She could still feel the girl’s soft hands along her face. 

Josie stood at last, and finally took off that stupid dress. It was beautiful, but tainted with the memories of the night Josie so desperately wanted to forget. She headed to the bathrooms, shower caddy in tow. She let the hot steam of the shower envelope her. It washed away her pain, and left her feeling numb to the world. The sound of the water hitting the shower tile eased Josie’s busy mind. After scrubbing away at herself repeatedly, Josie finally quit the cycle of obsessive behavior and shut off the water. She stood for a minute, letting the excess water drip off of her body. At long last she draped herself in a towel, slid into her robe, and walked quietly back to her room. 

She tugged a soft cotton tee shirt over herself, and pulled on a pair of silk pajama pants, allowing the soft, billowing fabric to graze against her skin. As Josie made her final sweep of the room before heading to her bed, she noticed her diary and the book Penelope had given her were both still open on her desk. Fearful that Lizzie may see it, she returned to her desk, and gently shut the diary. She placed the pen in her own cup holder, hoping that Lizzie wouldn’t notice its absence. Finally, she leafed through the book Penelope had given her one last time. Her curiosity got the better of her, and she returned to the table of contents once more to find someone interesting for her nightly reading. 

Josie furrowed her brow as she noticed a new chapter had been added. It was labeled “Penelope”. Josie’s heart skipped a beat as she stared in awe at the name on the page. She quickly flipped to the page number indicated, and was so overcome with emotions that she tripped backwards, landing on the soft plush rug. She gathered herself, and sat criss cross with the book resting in her lap.

_ Hey Jojo. _

_ Did you really think I wouldn’t have a spare master copy? Once a spy, always a spy.  _

Josie chuckled as she read. Penelope was clearly attempting to lift Josie’s spirits. Her entry was filled with inside jokes and dark comedy. She smiled down at the paper, finally reaching the end.

_ I love you.  _

_ Penelope Park. _

And that was all it took for Josie’s tears to come rushing back. They fell onto the page, leaving smeared ink where they landed. Josie shut the book and brought it to her chest, breathing a quivering sigh. Relief and pain all washed over her as she gently placed the book in the bookshelf (a perfect hiding spot from Lizzie). As she curled up into her bed, she reminisced about her time with Penelope. All those days and nights spent together laughing and kissing and sharing intimate details of their thoughts with one another. Josie let herself drift to sleep with the memories and the love they had shared flowing within her.

**Author's Note:**

> guys i'm so upset after this episode. hope you enjoyed this lil one shot :')) 
> 
> follow me on twitter @posiesalt


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